This is where I share my thoughts and insights about ex-christian life and atheism. This is my outlet for ideas that are, well, controversial around most of the people I know. I also throw in discussion of whatever else is going on in my life, if I feel like writing about it.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Padme
I did at least spy her getting into her food bowl a moment ago...since I haven't seen her eat for a while, that is a good sign.
Monday, January 14, 2008
My new kitty
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Accents
| What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta. | |
| The Midland | |
| The South | |
| Boston | |
| North Central | |
| The Inland North | |
| Philadelphia | |
| The Northeast | |
| What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz | |
Monday, January 07, 2008
Yoga
A Balanced YogiYou love your friends unconditionally and accept them for who they are no |
| Take the Yoga Journal Yoga Snob Quiz! |
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
My first Buddhist Retreat
A thought arises
Just a ripple in my mind.
Who dropped the pebble?
-A haiku that came to me during a sitting meditation at the retreat.
About a month ago, a regular member of my Sangha that meets on Sunday mornings announced that there was going to be a Vipassana retreat over New Year's weekend. It sounded interesting to me, so I took one of the registration forms he had, and looked up the website for the group that was sponsoring the retreat. So, after giving it a week's worth of thought and making sure I could get New Year's Eve off (New Year's Day is a paid holiday anyway) I filled out the registration form and sent in my payment.
The retreat lasted from Friday evening until Tuesday noon. I don't know what I expected, but I did not know what I was getting into. I had slight misgivings on the first day when I told someone it was my first retreat, and they said this one was a bit long for a first timer. For one thing, it was a silent retreat. I didn't mind the silence, but what made it really strange was the minimal contact we had with each other (There were about 20 participants.) The basic rules of etiquette were to be silent and stay out of each other's way--no eye contact either (not that this was enforced or anything, but everyone pretty much abided by it.) So pretty much we just stood back and gave each other lots of space.
From Saturday to Monday this was the schedule:
6:30 am: Wake Up
7:00 am: Sitting Meditation (We all meditated in one big room upstairs in the building I was sleeping in.)
8:00 am: Breakfast (The food was excellent.)
9:30 am: Teaching and Sitting Meditation
10:30 am: Walking Meditation
11:00 am: Sitting Meditation
12:00: Lunch
2:00 pm: Sitting Meditation
2:45: Walking Meditation
3:15: Sitting
4:00: Walking
4:30: Sitting
5:30: Supper
7:00: Sitting Meditation
7:45: Walking Meditation
8:15: Sitting Meditation
8:45: Dharma Talk
9:30: Sleep
Now, beings as I've never been in a sitting meditation longer than about 30 minutes, this schedule was quite a challenge for me. In fact, Saturday was absolutely miserable! I could never sit still for 45 minutes at a time and really got a lot of experimenting done with meditation postures. I'm quite certain I made a lot of noise. And on top of that, I had a cold with a runny nose, so I was needing to blow my nose about every 10 minutes at least. I think in every single sit I spent probably the last 10 minutes just wondering when she was finally going to ring that bell. By the end of the day I would be totally spend and irritated, but then there would finally be the Dharma talk at the end, and that would inspire me with enough courage to face the next 7:00 am sit.
Fortunately things improved a bit after the first full day. To the very end of the retreat I still could not sit still a whole 45 minutes, but I did start sitting still for longer periods of time, learned a few sitting postures that were tolerable to me for long periods and learned how to meditate in a chair from time to time. On Monday I was able to maintain a meditative frame of mind though the first two sets of sitting and walking sessions before dinner, though my concentration was pretty always well spent by the third sit in a row. I learned a lot of resisting the craving to move or just give up and go back to my room, and I learned a bit about where my mind goes when it does start to wander. Not bad for a fledgling meditator.
I also learned a lot about perception. There was a woman in the meditation room that I'd imagined looked at me crossly because I was making too much noise. Because I did tend to shuffle around quite a bit--especially on Saturday. But this morning after the closing when everyone started talking again she was just as talkative and friendly towards me as anyone else. It's amazing how your mind can convince you that you know what is going on inside someone else's mind. Actually I realised quite clearly that I did NOT know what she was thinking, but that did not stop that idea from popping up in my mind repeatedly. I told this to the teacher at the retreat when I had an interview with her, and she told me that there are several instances where people get odd ideas about other people at a retreat such as this. In fact, she knew someone at a different who had become convinced that one of the other meditators had fallen in love with her. Erroneously, I presume. :p
The friend that I rode to the retreat with has a way with words about these things . . . : "The difference between the summer and the winter retreats is that the summer retreats are hot, painful, and boring but the winter retreats are cold, painful, and boring." Bit of a wry sense of humor there. But he goes every New Year's and at other times as well. So he can't think it's all that bad. :)
It was quite the experience. Maybe next year I'll try it again.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
The trouble with quoting people out of context
In a story published Saturday in the Daily Record, Smith was quoted saying: "Even Hitler didn't wake up going, 'let me do the most evil thing I can do today.' I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was 'good.' "
I think Will's absolutely right. What Hitler did is what would be expected when you combine charisma, ignorance, hatred, extreme nationalism, and way too much power. Other than that, he was just a normal human like the rest of us.
Just my two cents...
Will Smith angry over Hitler comment interpretation - CNN.com
Monday, December 24, 2007
on being a practicing Buddhist but still a cultural Christian
What brings this to mind is a bit of conversation about religion I had with a guy I've been seeing and a friend of his over dinner on Saturday evening. Both he and his friend are East Indian, and what is what made the conversation particularly interesting.
I guess my friend was just making some casual conversation, but for some reason or another he asked me about church. We've discussed religion before (I told him about Unitarian Universalism, and I already knew he was a Sikh). I'd told him that I didn't believe in a God but that I went to a church that didn't place so much emphasis on belief as on how one lives one's life. And that my religion is different from my parents, who are evangelical Christians. I've never told him I was studying Buddhism.
Anyway, I was slightly perturbed about him bringing it up because for some reason or another I get painfully shy about discussing my religion. It's an incredibly personal thing to me, and also I'm fairly new to Buddhism and I'm concerned that I might say something that would give a wrong impression. But I think it's mostly just a fear of having my thoughts and feelings rejected.
Anyway, I decided on this occasion that I would tell him that I haven't been actually going to Church, that I haven't been a Christian for several years, and that I was actually now a Buddhist. He seemed absolutely shocked. I'm not really sure why I got that reaction. What surprised me was that he didn't even know that Buddhism originated in India--this was a surprised cause he likes to brag a lot about all the good stuff that came from India--but at least his friend knew about that. His friend asked where there was a Buddhist temple in this area, and honestly I don't know of any. This, I suspect, is a cultural thing. I mean, where they are from it might be assumed that a Buddhist would visit a temple regularly. I would like to visit one from time to time, but I can't see how that would be essential to practicing. My friend thought if I was a Buddhist I was supposed to shave my head. (LOL) I explained that is something I'd only be expected to do if I was a monk.
So, apparently they have a bit of a hard time seeing how someone can be a Buddhist without all the cultural stuff that would come with being raised as a Buddhist in a country that is largely Buddhist. Well, that is just not the situation I am in--no matter how much my personal beliefs and practice are Buddhist, I'm still culturally a Christian. And that is my reality.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Interesting License Plate
Anyway, on the way home I saw a car parked in the street. I was sitting at a light so I had time to get a good look. First I noticed the bumper sticker: "Topless mountains are obscene." Very true, I thought. It was only then that I noticed the license plate.
"AHIMSA"

Humm...I knew I knew the word, but could not place it. Pretty sure it was a Sanskrit word that I came across in reading about Buddhism but I still get all those terms mixed up. So I did a search and here is what I found.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahimsa
Non-violence. Very cool.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Absolutely shocking...
PRESS RELEASE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The Council for Secular Humanism Chides Congress for Disrespecting Religions
(December 14, 2007) -- Experts from the Council for Secular Humanism noted with alarm the passage of H. Res. 847 in the House of Representatives. This unnecessary, unwarranted, and bigoted law, under the misleading title "Recognizing the Importance of Christmas and the Christian Faith" passed the House with overwhelming bipartisan support It effectively undermines the sort of religious tolerance necessary in these changing times.
Just days ago in the midst of the Jewish Festival of Lights, four Jewish men in New York City were attacked on the subway for replying to a group of ten people who wished them a "Merry Christmas" with a similar greeting: "Happy Hanukkah. For this, these men were first insulted, then beaten. It was a Muslim man who came to their physical defense. The actions of the Congress, by passing the resolution and thus expressing preference to the Christian faith over all the others represented by the diverse population of these United States, encourages this sort of behavior.
The First Amendment's guarantee of religious liberty, and of the nonestablishment of religion, was devised to create a secular state in which all religions would be equally tolerated and none given preference. The language of the House resolution effectively undermines the design of the Founders, and creates an atmosphere where non-Christians will continue to be targeted, treated like second-class citizens, and even become victims of violence like those four Jewish subway riders in New York.
Paul Kurtz, CSH chair, stated, "It is deplorable that in this day and age and in light of violence against religious minorities here in the United States that the Congress would stoke those flames with preferential language in support of a single religion." David Koepsell, CSH's executive director, noted, "Te First Amendment Guarantee was designed to prevent the sort of religious intolerance that resulted in violence in Europe, and our Congress should respect the intent of the Founders."
We call on the Congress to reject this resolution, to stand up for religious freedom, secularism, and pluralism, and to foster a climate in which all believers and nonbelievers alike are treated equally.
I'm speechless.
Here is the text of H. Res. 847 in case you are interested.
HRES 847 IH
110th CONGRESS
1st Session
H. RES. 847
Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.
IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES
December 6, 2007
Mr. KING of Iowa (for himself, Mr. AKIN, Mrs. BACHMANN, Mr. BAKER, Mr. BARRETT of South Carolina, Mr. BISHOP of Utah, Mr. BOOZMAN, Mr. BRADY of Texas, Mr. BROUN of Georgia, Mr. BURTON of Indiana, Mr. CARTER, Mr. CONAWAY, Mr. DAVID DAVIS of Tennessee, Mr. DOOLITTLE, Mr. FEENEY, Mr. FORTENBERRY, Ms. FOXX, Mr. FRANKS of Arizona, Mr. GINGREY, Mr. GOHMERT, Mr. HAYES, Mr. HERGER, Mr. ISSA, Mr. SAM JOHNSON of Texas, Mr. JONES of North Carolina, Mr. JORDAN of Ohio, Mr. KINGSTON, Mr. KLINE of Minnesota, Mr. KUHL of New York, Mr. LAHOOD, Mr. LAMBORN, Mr. LAMPSON, Mr. DANIEL E. LUNGREN of California, Mr. MCCAUL of Texas, Mr. MCINTYRE, Mrs. MCMORRIS RODGERS, Mr. MILLER of Florida, Mrs. MUSGRAVE, Mrs. MYRICK, Mr. NEUGEBAUER, Mr. POE, Mr. SALI, Mr. SHADEGG, Mr. SMITH of Texas, Mr. STEARNS, Mr. TERRY, Mr. TIAHRT, Mr. WALBERG, Mr. WELDON of Florida, Mr. WILSON of South Carolina, Mr. DAVIS of Kentucky, and Mrs. DRAKE) submitted the following resolution; which was referred to the Committee on Foreign Affairs
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RESOLUTION
Recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.
Whereas Christmas, a holiday of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world;
Whereas there are approximately 225,000,000 Christians in the United States, making Christianity the religion of over three-fourths of the American population;
Whereas there are approximately 2,000,000,000 Christians throughout the world, making Christianity the largest religion in the world and the religion of about one-third of the world population;
Whereas Christians identify themselves as those who believe in the salvation from sin offered to them through the sacrifice of their savior, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and who, out of gratitude for the gift of salvation, commit themselves to living their lives in accordance with the teachings of the Holy Bible;
Whereas Christians and Christianity have contributed greatly to the development of western civilization;
Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers back to its roots in Christianity;
Whereas on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ;
Whereas for Christians, Christmas is celebrated as a recognition of God's redemption, mercy, and Grace; and
Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore be it
Resolved, That the House of Representatives--
(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;
(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;
(3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;
(4) acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization;
(5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against Christians, both in the United States and worldwide; and
(6) expresses its deepest respect to American Christians and Christians throughout the world.
Source: http://www.govtrack.us/congress/billtext.xpd?bill=hr110-847
So what about a rejection of bigotry and persecution against anyone, regardless of religion? What about those four Jewish men in New York? And the Muslim man who came to their defense?
The Founding Fathers are turning in their graves, I'm sure.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Colorado gunman scared co-workers 5 years ago, one says - CNN.com
He said Murray was told in December 2002 he would not be allowed to join a mission trip to Bosnia. That was five days after Murray performed a pair of dark rock songs at a concert at the mission that made fellow workers "pretty scared," according to Werner.
The performance -- which included a song by rock band Linkin Park and another that had been recorded by controversial rocker Marilyn Manson -- followed months of strange behavior, Werner said
I used to belong a evangelical group with similar beliefs as this "Youth With a Mission" group. When I was in there, I was terrified of stuff like metal and industrial music. However, now I know there is nothing there to fear...except the fear you create in your own mind. If they were so worried about his 'wierd behavior'--they claim that he even said he was hearing 'voices'--then why didn't they get him some help? I have to suspect, very strongly, that the news media is not reporting the whole story. Linkin Park and Marilyn Manson songs are not going to cause a guy to shoot people in a church, though (knowing how these people think) I'm sure a lot of people will assume the songs influenced him in some dark and sinister way. I'd be interested in knowing what really happened in this young man's life to lead to such an attrocious act.
Colorado gunman scared co-workers 5 years ago, one says - CNN.com
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Friday, December 07, 2007
The Golden Compass
That being said...
After months of waiting, I finally got to see The Golden Compass movie today. I'd heard about it a few months ago, and heard that it was written by an atheist and that it had gotten the church, the Catholic Church in particular, all up in arms and warning its members not to see the movie. So, I thought, I'd better check it out! (Same way I first encountered the Harry Potter series as well, for that matter, but that is beside the point.) Got to love the irony--as a major theme in The Golden Compass is like this: Don't let the Magisterium do your thinking for you!!! And in as far as the church wants to act like the Magisterium and control people's thinking, and only let them access the 'desired' truths, and only see movies with the 'desired' messages--well they are only proving Pullman's point, are they not? (They may not have the power now, but back when they were in control this was exactly the sort of thing they did.)
Ok, stepping off the soapbox now :)
I think the movie is worth seeing. For one thing, the visual effects were great. The daemons were just as good as I'd imagined them to be, and this is a great compliment for any 'based on book' movie. Also, they kept the story pretty well in tact--even though they had to do a lot of condensing. It's slightly less than 2 hours long. That is a lot of story to squeeze into two hours. I hope there is an extended version when it comes out on DVD.
I was also impressed with the way the characters were played out. The girl that played Lyra Silvertongue was great--especially in the scene with Iofer Raknison. And then there was the scene where Mrs. Coulter was looking at the picture of Lyra and the golden monkey slaps it out of her hand--and in return she slaps him. It really shows her as a person divided, which is not quite so clear in the first book of the series (comes out later though.) Her very soul is full of evil, but yet there is some sort goodness in there, fighting to come out? This was very nicely played by Nicole Kidman.
I have one beef with the movie--they cut out the last scene! Right after Lyra gets the kids out out Bolvangar and her and Roger get in the airship to go to Asriel, the credits come up! I was anticipating seeing Asriel blow the Northern sky open! When I saw that wasn't going to happen, at least not in this movie, I audibly said "You've got to be kidding me!" (a bit embarrassing, actually...) Lets just say that adding that last scene would have make the movie a lot more interesting and true to the book, and would have make a great cliffhanger in lieu of the next movie. However, it would have made the movie a bit darker, so that is probably why it wasn't included. You know if you've read the book, that when the alethiometer tells Lyra that she is bringing Asriel what he needs, it is not referring to itself. And I'll leave that at that--you will have to either read the book or wait until the next movie to find exactly what I mean.
Friday, November 30, 2007
revisiting faith
I'm really getting to think that the whole idea that 'faith' means believing absolutely and unconditionally in things even if they defy reason or empirical evidence is just wrong. And so are the religions that rely on this sort of faith--the dogmatic and fundamentalist sects that have found a spot in every religion in the world. Like the folk of the infamous creation museum that insist that the earth must only be 6,000 years old because their interpretation of a religious text tells them so . . . However, I really think there is a decent type of faith that can let people absorb changes in knowledge, admit when their belief is wrong, and then get on with life in a sane and rational manner.
Here is what I think is the basic rule of thumb for having such a faith: Don't try to make yourself believe what you don't think is true and consistent with a realistic view of the world. Follow the moral and ethical teachings of your philosophy or religion, and enjoy the ritual and devotional aspects of religion if you like those sorts of things. But if your religious tradition tells you to believe something you think is dubious, just admit to yourself that you think it's dubious. Put it on the back burner of your mind for a while. Don't even worry about believing it until you either decide it may be true or you decide it probably is not true (in which case you either toss the useless dogma out with the trash or stick with some symbolic version of it). I think this is really difficult and requires a degree of courage if you were raised in a religion like Christianity which hangs one's very salvation on believing the right things. I think simple honesty with oneself and a openness to reality--even if you have been told that you will be risking your very soul--is much better than uncritical belief in a dogma. I think being dishonesty with oneself, and the cognitive dissonance that goes with having beliefs that clash with the known world, is a much worse risk. Have some faith in yourself :)
But then, that is just my point of view. And I'm using this blog to hash out this idea, so I'm not done thinking about it. I probably never will be done thinking about it.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
YouTube - Buddhist Prayer for Those Suffering in Labs
YouTube - Buddhist Prayer for Those Suffering in Labs
Sunday, November 18, 2007
CARMA - Carbon Monitoring for Action
CARMA - Carbon Monitoring for Action
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
If the anti-Christmas forces are winning, then the war in Iraq is nothing short of total victory.
As I was considering the so-called 'war on Christmas', I thought I'd do a google search and see what is out there on the internet about it. I found this article from a couple of years ago that really hits the mark for any recent year, including this one. Let's have no war on Christmas, but please, no war on pluralism either.
What 'War on Christmas'?
By Ruth Marcus
Saturday, December 10, 2005; Page A21
I've been hearing about this "War on Christmas," so I headed to the Heritage Foundation the other day for a briefing from one of the defending army's generals: Fox News anchor John Gibson, author of "The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday Is Worse Than You Thought." Gibson -- and Bill O'Reilly, his comrade in the Fox-hole -- see this as a two-front war: Assaulting Christmas from the government end, they say, are pusillanimous school principals, politically corrected city managers and their ilk, bullied by the ACLU types into extirpating any trace of Christmas from the public square. Battering the holiday from the private sector are infidel retailers such as Target and Wal-Mart, which balk at using the C-word in their advertising in favor of such secularist slogans as "Happy Holidays."
The assault, Gibson told the Heritage crowd, has reached a "shocking level this year."
After the lecture, I wandered over to Union Station to check out a retail battlefield. Inside and out, the station was festooned with giant You Know What wreaths. A huge You Know What tree, with presents wrapped in red and green underneath, stood in the main hall, near a placard announcing "Norwegian Christmas at Union Station." A high-tech player piano was playing "Go Tell It on the Mountain," proclaiming the birth of You Know Who; the next selection was You Know Who Else Is Coming to Town. The most generic element was a small sign reading "Happy Holidays," but even then the words were bracketed by reindeer -- and let's just say, they weren't eating latkes. It was beginning to look a lot like You Know What.
If the anti-Christmas forces are winning, then the war in Iraq is nothing short of total victory.
It may seem strange -- even foolhardy -- for a nice Jewish girl to be writing about Christmas. So let me say: I'm a huge fan, always have been, in a kind of nose-pressed-against-the-glass sort of way. When I was growing up in the New Jersey suburbs, my family used to pile into the car every Christmas and drive around looking at the lights, with my mother and I engaging in earnest discussion of what color scheme we'd choose. If I were Christian, I suspect, I'd be the sort of over-the-top type who buys ornaments year-round and has a drawer full of Christmas sweaters, the kind featuring pompoms as tree ornaments.
This is the time of year, though, when those of us who aren't Christian, or who don't celebrate Christmas, most feel our minority status. I've experienced this especially acutely since my children started to look longingly at shopping mall Santas (Santa's a nice guy, honey, but he's not for us) and ask why there are so few menorahs or dreidels among the reindeer and Christmas trees. (How to break this gently? Their team has a lot more players.)
I'm not one who would argue that we ought to Grinch our way out of this discomfort by aggressively de-Christmafying. And to the extent that the war-on-Christmas crowd is simply reacting to knee-jerk political correctness, I'm with them. It's idiotic to call the Capitol conifer a Holiday Tree -- as it has been for the past several years, until it was re-, um, christened this year. If, as Gibson reports, the Plano, Tex., schools really have an edict banning red-and-green decorations (was it either color or just the combination?) -- well, you don't have to be Christian to find this more than a little silly.
But there is an ugly, bullying aspect to this dispute, in which the pro-Christmas forces are not only asking, reasonably, that their religion be treated with equal status and respect but in which they are attacking legitimate efforts at inclusivity. It's this sense of aggrieved victimhood that confuses me: What, exactly, is so threatening about calling the school holiday a winter break rather than Christmas vacation?
The latest alleged perfidy is the failure of the White House Christmas card to mention Christmas, instead expressing "best wishes for a holiday season of hope and happiness" and featuring a verse from Psalms. William A. Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, calls this evidence that the administration has "capitulated to the worst elements in our culture." I call it a recognition, especially welcome at a time of sectarian violence, that not all the 1.4 million folks on the Christmas list are Christian.
This has reached its most imposition-of-Sharia-law-like level of intolerance in the campaign to cow stores into saying Christmas. O'Reilly, escalating his "Christmas Under Siege" campaign, has posted a list of naughty and nice retailers. The American Family Association goes further, calling for a boycott of stores -- it's targeted Target -- that fail to use the word Christmas in their advertising or in-store promotions. "Target doesn't want to offend a small minority who oppose Christmas," says AFA's chairman, Donald Wildmon. "But they don't mind offending Christians who celebrate the birth of Christ."
Really? I've just gone on the Target Web site and plugged Christmas into my product search. "We found 39,197 match(es) for 'Christmas' at Target," it reported. How offensive is that?
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
YouTube - Christmas With a Capital "C"
YouTube - Christmas With a Capital "C"

