thoughts on honesty

Damn, I was moody last week. LOL Much better now.

Anyway, I've given a bit of thought about the importance of honesty. I seem to have gotten these mixed messages about honesty all my life. On one hand there was the "honesty is the best policy" side. But then, in everyday life what I saw was that it is fine to lie, or at least not speak the truth, in little situations all the time. If so-and-so calls, tell them I'm not home. Or "that haircut looks great on you". Or on a much more serious note "I believe in God the Father . . . "

I've spent a lot of my life afraid to speak the truth on a variety of issues, because of fear of offending having someone diapprove of me. Or of hurting someone's feelings. And sometimes I'm afraid of just being too blunt in an honest negative opinion of someone. Anyway, I've had a few experiences last week, even today, where I've risked telling people things about myself or things I've done or thought when I knew that they would not like it. But it's been worth the risk. I've found that it is much better to have a thing in the open, than it is to try and conceal it and act like there is nothing there.

Love Bites - Def Leppard

[I love this song. And it fits with what I feel like today. Not all the lyrics fit, but the general mood definately does.

Speaking of music . . . I just subscribed to Yahoo music. If you really want to hear what I like, check out starseyer's station.]

If you've got love in your sights
Watch out, love bites

When you make love, do you look in the mirror?
Who do you think of, does he look like me?
Do you tell lies and say that it's forever?
Do you think twice, or just touch 'n' see?
Ooh babe ooh yeah

When you're alone, do you let go?
Are you wild 'n' willin' or is it just for show?
Ooh c'mon

I don't wanna touch you too much baby
'Cos making love to you might drive me crazy
I know you think that love is the way you make it
So I don't wanna be there when you decide to break it
No!

Love bites, love bleeds
It's bringin' me to my knees
Love lives, love dies
It's no surprise
Love begs, love pleads
It's what I need

When I'm with you are you somewhere else?
Am I gettin' thru or do you please yourself?
When you wake up will you walk out?
It can't be love if you throw it about
Ooh babe

I don't wanna touch you too much baby
'Cos making love to you might drive me crazy

[Repeat Chorus]

[guitar solo]

Ooh yeah

[Repeat Bridge]

Love bites, love bleeds
It's bringin' me to my knees
Love lives, love dies

[Repeat Chorus]

If you've got love in your sights
Watch out, love bites
Yes it does
It will be hell

Update

I'll start with professional life . . .
My job is going well. Currently I'm working on the analysis and design stage for an internal web application for handling an invoice payment service. Learning a bunch about asp.net in the process--basically training myself as needed. It's a pretty nice arrangement for a devolper fresh from college like me.

About personal life:
I've been dating more this year than I have in my entire life. LOL I would like to find a long term relationship as a goal, but I don't feel quite ready for a commitment yet. Sometimes dating leaves me confused a bit--lol just how many personal details do I want to post on this blog?

Let's just say that, at the moment, it feels like my hormones, emotions, and reason are all pulling me in different directions. I may explain later, if I decide to spill that sort of personal stuff on the web for all to see.