Sunday, July 17, 2005

thoughts on honesty

Damn, I was moody last week. LOL Much better now.

Anyway, I've given a bit of thought about the importance of honesty. I seem to have gotten these mixed messages about honesty all my life. On one hand there was the "honesty is the best policy" side. But then, in everyday life what I saw was that it is fine to lie, or at least not speak the truth, in little situations all the time. If so-and-so calls, tell them I'm not home. Or "that haircut looks great on you". Or on a much more serious note "I believe in God the Father . . . "

I've spent a lot of my life afraid to speak the truth on a variety of issues, because of fear of offending having someone diapprove of me. Or of hurting someone's feelings. And sometimes I'm afraid of just being too blunt in an honest negative opinion of someone. Anyway, I've had a few experiences last week, even today, where I've risked telling people things about myself or things I've done or thought when I knew that they would not like it. But it's been worth the risk. I've found that it is much better to have a thing in the open, than it is to try and conceal it and act like there is nothing there.

1 comment:

Contemplative Activist said...

There comes a point when you can't hide or lie any more.

I mean sure, we can tell someone that their haircut looks, um, well, interesting...ho hum. But what does it matter - its only a haircut!

When it comes to more serious matters, I think we must speak our truths and be willing to listen to others'. If we can speak from our own truth and our own experiences while also being open to hearing the (sometimes contradictory) perspectives of others.

If we are to know ourselves and know others, if we are to have any possibility of friendship with anyone, we need to tell the truth - we need to let them know us. And we must also be allowed to know them.

What was it in the book - the truth will set you free ;) Try to do it gently, but speak the truth! They'll get over it...eventually!